shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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