so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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