Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
