If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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