1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
