Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
