with your own penis?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Randomize
