6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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