I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
