$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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