So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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