Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize