i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
