Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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