Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
