Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
well you can't waste a boner
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
