This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
