Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
