I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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