Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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