In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
