the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
