Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
