Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
