That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
