I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
