So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
