I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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