Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
