Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
