By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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