so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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