R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
