Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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