What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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