theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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