I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
