i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When are your genitals available?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
