u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
