He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
