fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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