She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
