I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
