It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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