He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
