I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
