u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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