garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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