gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
