Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
