I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
