She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
