Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
