I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
