I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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