He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
