lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
