Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
