Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
