i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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