Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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