My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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