Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
