her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
