my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
