I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
