I wish I could teleport
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
